Mentali-T Time

 

Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence. (Psalm 42:5 NASB)

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Mentali-T Time

It’s the last weekend of the first month of the year, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t recall much of what has happened in the days gone by. It’s as though I’m operating on autopilot, or semi-consciousness. It’s easy to get lost in the busyness of life, and to the point that we lose track of ourselves and what’s going on inside of us. This can lead to the mental health challenges we sometimes face. Challenges with depression, exhaustion, loss of motivation, anxiety, isolation, withdrawal, anger and frustration with ourselves or maybe others. Women especially seem to fall pray to these issues, because most find themselves struggling with having to manage homes, relationships, families, jobs, health and a myriad of things. Is it any wonder that we at some point shut down, lose control, or our sanity?

I recently spoke with a friend who shared her recent challenges with mental health. I was honored that she spoke with me about it, but I was also heartbroken because it was after the fact. I was disappointed because it felt like I wasn’t there for her. She revealed that like some of us, she kept it to herself because she didn’t think things were that bad and that she could handle it. However, as often goes, it took it’s toll and she lost herself. Thankfully, she didn’t lose her life like Robin Williams, Kate Spade, Twitch and many others, because she sought help; not to say that they didn’t. Realizing she needed help was the start to her regaining control. She allowed herself to take time away so that she could recover, and although she is not operating at her fullest now, it’ll be just a matter of time, with her determination, that she’ll be operating in her new normal. Especially, considering the quick pace time has been passing.

Just so you know, she did reach out to a close family member who missed the opportunity to have a good T. Instead, this person pretty much told her “it’s not that serious” and “she’ll be ok;” you just need to “pray about it.”  That left her feeling unheard, misunderstood, and helpless. A Psychology Today article, by Dr. Civico urges caution about advice that comes across as judging, because certain “forms of judgment can inhibit healthy communication” (2015). Her advice somewhat suggests her problem was that she did not have a close relationship with God, which wasn’t true. This reminds me of the story where the disciples questioned Jesus about whether a child born blind was due to his parents, and Jesus answered no (John 9:3). We can make a difference if we turn off our tendency to identify what the other person is going through and tune in to understand what they tell you without making assumptions.

Now, I believe that prayer changes things, but I know that you don’t just sit idly waiting for that to happen. Scripture tells us to “trust in in the Lord” our helper (Proverbs 3:5), but it also tells us to “ask”, “seek,” and “knock” (Matthew 7) for the answers we desire. Please consider that when talking to someone who is in a crisis. Instead of spiritualizing the moment, here are even better ideas. How about asking how you can help? Maybe you could help them organize, minimize, clean, manage schedules, find a wholistic treatment or physician unique to their needs? Do you think perhaps that you could help them find the resources they need? How about listening to fully understand without judging or trying to fix them? And instead of telling them to pray in their broken state, how about you pray for them? Sometimes when people are having a mental health crisis, the last thing they want is to hear a sermon from you. Especially one that's not helpful.

It’s time for us to  change our mentality about mental health, both the from a personal and impersonal perspective. I've provided just a few suggestions for starters, but there are many others to consider. The takeaway from this is to realize that you’re not alone, and that a lot of us have struggled with mental illness; even I. I suggested what others can do to help, but here are things you can do if you find you’re struggling: (1) please reach out to someone and get the help you need. (2) Consider calling a crisis line, since they are trained to talk you through it, and keep what you share confidential. They handle your situation with care; I know because I used to work on one. (3) Remember, you can get through this, and you don’t have to on your own.

Now I’d like to hear what you’re thinking. What have been your experience and what do you suggest could be helpful to you or those in need? I’ve already set the cups and started the brew. Take sip, it's T time!

 

Sources

Civico, A. Dr (2015). What's Wrong With Giving Advice... and a better way to really be there for someone. Psychology Today article, March 13, 2015. Retrieved Jan 25, 2023 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/turning-point/201503/whats-wrong-giving-advice

Image: Teapot and porcelain cups on table in house. Retrieved Jan 25, 2023 from:                                                 https://www.pexels.com/photo/teapot-and-porcelain-cups-on-table-in-house-6394584/

Verses https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Trust-In-God