“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:20
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The Season for Good T
“It’s beginning to look a lot like
Christmas,” as we’re now less than two weeks away from one of the most
celebrated holidays of the year. The chill in the air mixed with laughter, carols,
and ringing of kettle bells adds nostalgia to the season. It’s enough to make people
“deck the halls” and “fa-la-la-la-la” ‘til whatever makes them jolly. Many of
those in the holiday spirit will once again travel for another chance to be
with family and friends. They will exchange gifts, tell stories, share in some
holiday fun, and foods. The excitement, laughter and smells of baked cookies
and pies will fuel the indulger’s dreams of sugar plums dancing in their head. This
is the perfect time to brew up a bit of T, and maybe this post will offer something
to sip on.
Holidays can be fun, but it doesn’t
always bring good cheer for everyone, just as it’s not always easy to talk to
people all the time. However, that does not negate the importance of pursuing
healthy connections whenever possible. I mean imagine a Christmas morning with
everyone sitting around the tree opening gifts, without saying a word. Not one
single woo-hoo, or thank you, or wow look at what I got! I couldn’t imagine
that would be much fun. In fact, it would stink worse than an elephant in the
room, that just took a dump on your floor. The moral of the story, I think, is
that elephants have no business being in your house; especially during
holidays, or something to that effect.
How you approach talking is critical to its success. It takes proper planning and consideration of the time and location. Equally important is the setting of the right tone for the conversation. When you enter a discussion, be sure that you’re as gentle and patient as possible. Scripture tells us “a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). It may take several attempts, but it’ll be time worth investing. Conversations, like teas, are different for everyone. Some, called straight talks, can leave a little bitter taste in your mouth, but somehow it works for some. This works in situations where people need immediate adjustments such as addicts, poor performers or those needing a reality check that won’t bounce. Still approach this with care but cut to the chase and address the issues at hand. Others, on the other hand, prefer a sweeter approach. Sometimes these conversations work, and sometimes it just leaves one, if not both people feeling good about themselves. These conversations are typically used with children who have not developed to understand their behavioral issues. However, adults who always want sugar coated conversations are not being realistic. Too much sugar in your T or talks is not healthy (more on that in my next blog). Giving soft answers do not mean you have to tiptoe around the problem. Eventually, it will just be too sugary for anyone to stomach and the change sought will not materialize. Keep in mind that good talks happen when people learn to combine open and honest talk with a since of care. Get in the spirit and strengthen or renew your connections over good T this holiday. It’ll be the best gift around your tree, and you can sip on that.
Dr. T. Thanks for the beautiful words. Too much sugar is bd for digestion. Straight no chaser. Love it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your input. Yes having straight talks can build strong ties. It can help determine what adjustments are needed, what boundaries to set, and what to agree to disagree about. It's done in kind regard not a I'm going to give you a piece of my mind attitude. Remember, you want to connect, not disconnect unless the disconnect is a healthier decision for everyone involved. Thanks for brewing the T.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dr P! I really liked your use of Proverbs 15:1, “a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”. Hard to remember but so true when one is able to apply it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for that affirmation. I have often learned that it takes a lot of power to be able to hold one's tongue. I often reflect on what Former President and his wife said about "going high, when others go low." To respond in a way that deters from a kerfuffle requires wisdom (James 3:17) and self-control (Proverbs 16:32). If you want peace, become the peacemaker with how you respond both verbally and non-verbally, understanding the timing and character of the one who seek to make a connection. Sip up!
DeleteReally appreciate this during this time. Great advice and good tips to remember during the madness of the holiday rush.
ReplyDeleteIt inspires me that your can appreciate the content I share. Please continue to visit and add to the conversations that promote good and healthy connections with others. Pinky sip!
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